Sunday, October 25, 2009

Snot Rocket: The Saga Continues...

Who would have ever thought that so much time, effort, and thought could go into such a mundane, disgusting, but ever so necessary maneuver. One of my friends from the blog world has thought about this topic quite a lot and did an in depth series of rather interesting posts on this art form. You should check out "The Old Bag's" thoughts and findings on this topic here. I love the fact that she ever shared some interesting resources.

We've entered that time of year where my sinuses start going somewhat haywire and really give me a great deal of trouble which often times ends up with me having a couple of pretty good sinus infections.

My problems began this past week and all the vitamin C and other herbal formulas in the world seem to not have any affect on this. My frustration came to a peak yesterday morning while on an eight mile run. I felt that I really needed to clear my nose so I could breathe a bit easier. I should note that I also have some ribs that were either seriously bruised or possibly even fractured two weeks ago in a fall. No! I have not gone in to see a doctor. This of course is another matter which could possibly end up as a blog post. Back to my run of yesterday morning.

I was running really good and did not want to stop. I knew that the only way to clear my nose was an attempt at the snot rocket. A seemingly simple maneuver where one blocks the opposite nostril by pressing it closed with their finger and then simply blowing hard forcing the mucus out of the other nostil at a rather high velocity.

Well needless to say this simple maneuver has caused me some difficulties along with a good deal of embarrassment in the past. This of course has led me to be somewhat gun shy and hesitant to execute this simple procedure. I once again decided to give it my best shot and of course once again came away feeling like a complete failure with ejectus sprayed all down my left leg and all over my new tights and running shoes.

Fortunately I was careful to make sure nobody else was around to witness this embarrassing situation along with the swear words that followed my miserable performance. This caused me to think the rest of the way home on what could I possible be doing wrong and could this important maneuver be assessed and measured. Of course, being an educator I immediately began thinking of the Minnesota Comprehensive Assessments and the standards that are tested along with the rubrics and grading which is applied.

It is quite obvious that my skills in this matter are totally lacking, but I wanted to know where exactly I was on the grading scale of 1-4. 1 meaning: does not meet standards and 4 meaning: exceeds standards. I was feeling that I would definitely score in the level 1 category, maybe level two if I examined a bit further.

The question came to mind...What would the rubric look like? This is my first draft which is open to scrutiny by all the experts out there.

4 Exceeds Standards: The learner can successfully execute the maneuver from both the left side or right side of the nose while riding, running, or participating in any other vigorous outdoor activity. (This procedure should not be done indoors) The ejectus leaves the nostril at the correct angle and at a velocity no slower than 3 ft. per second and all of the ejectus clears the learner's body and bike.

3 Meets Standards: The learner can successfully execute the maneuver from one side of the nose while riding, running, or participating in any other vigorous outdoor activity. The ejectus leaves the nostril at the correct angle and at a velocity adequate enough for all the ejectus to clear the learner's body and bike.

2 Partially Meets Standards: The learner attempts to execute the maneuver from one side of the nose while riding, running, or participating in any other vigorous outdoor activity. The ejectus leaves the nostril, however not all the ejectus clears the body or bike and reaches the ground.

1 Does Not Meet Standards: The learner attempts to execute the maneuver from one side of the nose while riding, running, or participating in any other vigorous outdoor activity. The ejectus does not clear the learners face nor does any part of the ejectus reach the ground.

So, there we have it. Obviously learners in levels 1 and 2 (red or yellow) need immediate remediation. I currently find myself in the yellow (level 2) category. Partially meeting the standards, but definitely in need of remediation.

So, if there are any experts out there that can offer up some advice I'm open to suggestions. Otherwise I guess I just need to carry a handkerchief with me while I'm running or riding.

3 comments:

The Old Bag said...

I think expertise comes from examining the failures and comparing them to the successes. I still need to work on the right side...I think I know why I'm not as successful on the right, but I haven't really worked on technique when it counts!

gnarlees said...

I seemed to have mastered the "single barrel blow" from all the saline washes I've done with my sinuses. However, upon trying the "double barrel blow" I had similar results to yours!

WheelDancer said...

I found the angle of the head to be very important in clearing myself from the target zone. I'm pretty consistently in level 4 but sometimes drop considerably typically when Sudafed is involved or the thickness is just too great.

I would, however, like to underscore another important element. Make certain the target zone is clear of other riders/runners/skiers etc. Several times this fall, just as I declare 'on your left', the $%^& I am about to pass lets fly a snot rocket. Wearing your own snot is disgusting; wearing someone else's brings it to a whole new level.